My big brother, my only brother. He taught me how to fight, how to love animals, how to do Karate and how to use the nunchucks (even though my substitute was a broomstick). I had my very first cigarette with him. He also gave me away at my wedding. He made me smile, made me laugh, and made me cry. We never really had too many fights in our 42 years together. He loved me and I loved him. He’s my strength, my brother, my hero!
I lost my brother on January 5, 2013. He passed from cancer, which started in his back and spread to his brain. By the time the doctors found it, it was too late. Losing him is one of the hardest things I’ve had to go through in my life. I’ll never forget him. It was a very sad experience, but I know as the youngest daughter I had to make it through this. You see, my mom only had one boy and three girls. I lost my father when I was only one year old, so my brother was the only father I had.
I didn’t have a regular brother, I had a brother with amazing and unimaginable strength. He was a real Hercules. He could take down anybody his size or bigger. He was my hero. He taught me how to take care of myself. He knew that he taught me so well that he really didn’t have to worry about me defending myself. But of course he did worry. He really loved his family.
I sang at his funeral along with his daughter and my niece Egypt. She asked me at the last minute to join her in a song by Brandy and Gladys Knight called “Missing You.” The song was beautiful, but all that was coming to my mind was the Brandy song “Have You Ever Loved Somebody.” It goes like this:
Have you ever loved somebody so much it makes you cry
Have you ever need something so bad you can’t sleep at night
Have you ever tried to find the words but they don’t come out right
Have you ever found the one you dreamed of all your life
You would do anything to look into their eyes.
My family is very disoriented and very much in pain. My mom is going through hell. I try to stop the pain but then I realized that only God can comfort her. There is really not too much that I can do except pray that she doesn’t give up on me and her other two daughters. I remind her that ‘I for one love you and need you.’ To tell the truth my mom is pretty darn strong. I guess that’s where my brother got it from.
