I want to carry on with the theme of happiness. Many readers responded positively to my column in the May 15 issue, dealing with happiness and success. One e-mail message I received was from a 20-year-old Russian tourist, who had just set foot on American soil when I first met here. Her correspondence puzzled me. She wrote, “You’re much happier than many people who have everything except themselves. happiness is just a state of mind regardless of your possessions.”
State of mind? I think she’s right. If someone has more than enough for their daily sustenance, to maintain a stable life and to meet all their material needs, and he or she still cannot find happiness, something’s wrong. I will be honest: If I had the wealth, the talent and the fame of Michael Jackson, I would be happy and I don’t care what anyone says. I am just being real.
Someone said that money is the root of all evil, but I beg to differ. I think money is all right, there is nothing wrong with money. The roots of all evil are in man’s motives based on greed, selfishness and insensitivity towards others. Money is a tool just like a knife but in the mind of whoever uses the knife – same as money.
As I have stated in my previous column, my present condition is that of unhappiness because of my failure to achieve my ideals. Consequently, it is my belief that my quest for happiness can become fruitful only when I achieve success in turning dreams into reality. And all I can dream of now is material and financial stability. So, I wonder how do folks like Michael Jackson, with all their wealth and success, end up unhappy that they’re engaging in weird behavior.
I have no clue what the answer is. But, when I read my young Russian friend’s e-mail again, I can see an answer. She said, “You are happier than most people who have everything except themselves.”
She’s got a point. The truth of the matter is that I am much happier than Michael Jackson because now I would not want to be in his current predicament – despite his recent “not guilty ruling.” But, being accused of child molestation and having the reputation of a pedophile wouldn’t make anyone happy except a psychopath. No wonder Michael flew to Bahrain, in the Arabian Peninsula with his three children right after the verdict of the child molestation trial, in what appears to be a self-imposed exile out of the United States.
What transpires from the Michael Jackson situation is that the identity crisis, which he obviously suffers from as his metamorphosis from the Negro race to the Caucasian race shows, has not allowed him to fully enjoy his good luck. By good luck, I mean talent, fame and wealth.
I am not a psychiatrist and I will not attempt to explain Michael Jackson’s mind. I understand that he has allegedly been subjected to some abuse as a child. So, this may be the reason of his problem with identity. Some say he is still a child trapped in the body of an adult, he believes he is Peter Pan (a fictional little boy character who refuses to grow up and enjoys performing magic).
However, it is obvious that Michael Jackson’s identity crisis has impeded the happiness that should have been naturally resulted from his success in the universal world of music, entertainment and business. The lesson I see in this situation is that at some point we have to accept who we are and the way we are. It is better to be happy with what we have than to pursue an unattainable dream and, in the process, cause greater damage to our mental stability and our self-esteem. We can cause ourselves a lot of misery by just trying to be what we are not.
There is a lot of wisdom in what my Russian friend wrote me. I may not have anything as far as material things. But, I have me, myself, and I. As long as I keep consciousness of my integrity, then I can improve my condition sometimes in the future.
Sometimes we are so focused on what we perceive as the negative part of us that we fail to appreciate the good side of us. Until we learn how to love ourselves sand accept ourselves, we cannot be happy – even if we have everything. The dissatisfaction with self will always prevail over the gratification with wealth, as is the case with Michael Jackson.
When we know ourselves, we know that, no matter how bad we see things within or around us, there is also something good within and around us, too.
I am not happy to be poor and homeless, and as long as that is what I identify with, I will not be happy. But despite homelessness, I still have my personality and I am quite sure there is something good in it. I should be happy I have me because there is something good in me and in all of us.
