Being around the wrong crowd

Being around the wrong crowd or even a negative person can spoil you. 

You know, people with the wrong behaviors are the ones that get you into places that you don’t want to end up like: jails, institutions and graveyards. I don’t know about you, but I hate to be in any of those places. 

There’s other ways of self-sabotage such as getting in your own way. This happens when you do not take the time to process, when you do not get to the root of the problem by not thinking it through. I find myself dead in the water when I lose myself.

How about when you allow negativity to get in your way? It’s not even yours to fall on, but it’s always yours when you fall on it and fall for it. 

How about when a friend says, “Come on, girl. Let’s go to the bar,” but you are in recovery and you go anyway? You tell yourself, “I’m not going to pick up,” but then it goes from that thought to another thought: “I’m just going to drink one,” but the next morning you wake up and you don’t know where you’ve been, or how you got home. 

Now you feel like shit. Now, you need something all over again to make yourself feel a little better than you do. Well, you begin to numb yourself again thinking that your problems will go away. But they don’t. When it comes back, you feel like shit. Now you’re beginning to repeat the cycle. You think you’re getting better when all the while, you’re getting worse. 

Then there’s the stinking thoughts, the thinking you’re getting away with something. Because you think no one knows what you’re doing. It’s only you. You think nobody can tell. “I still have a job and a roof over my head,” you say to yourself. Yet, you haven’t paid the bills in a long time. 

Last but not least, you may be overwhelmed or may be overdoing it. That means you’re doing too much at one time. I felt this sabotage. My biggest self-sabotage is my biggest problem. I do it all the time, thinking I can do everything at once. 

It is where I put extremely too much on my plate to eat. It means having too much to handle at one time. Now I’m getting tired, overwhelmed with things and not getting enough me-time. There is no nutritional balance, no taking medicine, no sleep. 

I can say it. Keep your eyes on this one. It’s a very tricky one. Take your time to do the things that you need to do, but do it in an extremely timely fashion. Be patient and be strong. Till next time, stay safe and stay clean.

Issues |Addiction

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