Previously on The Mysterious Masonic Ring, Bill is preparing for his rendezvous with Bowler Hat and trying to figure out how to keep Kittie out of it. Kittie suggests they go shopping, and Bill slyly gets out of it by saying that he will be at the library researching the Masons; Kittie isn’t convinced:
“And what exactly are you going to do while I go out and play ‘Frontier Village’?” Kittie asked with an annoyed smirk.
“I’ll be in the MLK Library, researching other famous Masons to prepare for tomorrow’s riddle.” I answered.
“Don’t you know who all of the famous Masons are, Mister History?” she retorted.
“Quite a few of them, absolutely.” I answered, straight faced, “But I should double-check; there are so many possibilities. Don’t you think we need to have this knowledge in hand as we jump through whatever hoops the Masons shove us through? And we better check this out now rather than ten minutes after we have a clue that we’re stuck on.”
“I suppose so,” she sighed, “but I was so looking forward to shopping with you. Hell, mighta found us matching outfits; it would be soooo cute!”
Kittie and I in matching outfits?! Thank God for all favors great and small–she was only kidding. I hope she was only kidding. Thank God I’ll never know.
“Ok, go ahead and do your boring-ass research” she conceded, “I’m gonna have to just settle for treating myself to some great clothes. There’s this slinky, barely there, black dress I’m dying to see myself in. And the bras and panties; it’d be good to have new underwear.”
Now she was just playing dirty. Kittie knew damn well my overactive imagination was playing paper dolls with images of her in as many revealing, skimpy, barely there, and almost non-existent outfits and underwear combinations as possible. I suppose it was her payback for me sending her shopping alone. And honestly, as far as revenge plots go, if fantasizing her practically naked was her idea of vengeance, maybe I should piss her off more often…ahem!
“Bill, you’re practically drooling” she laughed.
“Yeah, it’s too bad I’ll have to miss all of that.” I recovered not as gracefully as I would had hoped.
“And little old me’s gonna have to carry all those bags home by myself,” she went on, in a voice that moaned ‘damsel in distress’.
“You could always catch a cab back.” I said. “Some of them have enough cargo space to bring back twice what you’re planning on getting.”
“So let me get this straight,” she said, sounding all grave and serious, “you want me to go out by myself and spend your money?”
“Yep, exactly.” I answered cheerfully.
“Wow, a week ago sleeping on the streets, and now I’m living most girls’ in the hoods happiest dreams.” she retorted, “OK, works for me!” With that, she walked away with a happy bounce to her step, ready to start her shopping spree.
Finally, and there’s my way out to see Bowler Hat. I felt a slight pang of guilt for manipulating her like that, but that was minor compared to the job I’ll have to pull for my plan to succeed. It would take all my wits to keep from being ensnared in my own web, so to speak. I said a quick prayer to whatever god covered righteous sneakiness and went to go find a cup of coffee somewhere.
To be continued…