I’m having suicidal thoughts
Feel like killing myself
I tried to slit my wrist
but it was painful as hell
My daughter 13
And she won’t answer her phone
I wish child support court
would just leave me alone
My baby momma sick, the doc said she need a heart
Life or suicide why am I having these thoughts
If I had two hearts she could have one of mine
Every night I play Russian roulette with my nine
My God, these thoughts, they haunt me
I don’t want to live with these thoughts
They want me to jump off a bridge
Saw my reflection saying, “Jump, you don’t gotta be scared.”
When I was dreaming
These demons tried to make me drink bleach
But it ain’t work it just brightened smile
And whitened my teeth
Then they tried gasoline
Soon as they lit the match I woke up out of my dream
My soul is on fire
Why the devil keep taking me higher?
“What if I take me some arsenic, Die a slow death?” </span
Who the hell could have thought this?
All of these voices in my dome
I’m trying to find my way home
But the judge got a grudge
they wanna separate the two of us
Make it hard be a father
The system kidnapped my daughter
For a child support check
I could just end this myself
I still got a few in the chamber
These voices in my head saying
“Life is in danger”
Dear God, who can I trust?
These voices tellin’ me to jump in front of a bus
These thoughts are overpowering
I wish I knew what to do
I wish I knew what to say, what to pray
Can somebody take this pain away?
My momma told me that the world was big
But these voices in my head saying that the world is dead
These voices telling telling me
to take me some pills
So I can die in my sleep
To get rid of the pain that I feel
One of my daughters might not be mine
I just might do it this time
Instead of doin’ time
And putting my life on the line
Since my cousins died, I ain’t been the same
It’s still a nightmare, I almost went insane
Walk past a crazy house it was New Year’s Eve
You believe the message that I received
I saw a man talking to hisself
He look just like me
He said, “Get those voices out your head
“or one day it just might be”
These thoughts are real
And it don’t matter who you are
these thoughts can kill
Suicidal thoughts are something many people experience but few feel comfortable discussing. If you are feeling similar to what has been expressed in these verses, here are several ways you can instantly connect with someone to talk about it for free:
Call 1-888-7-WE-HELP (1-888-793-4357) for D.C. operators or 1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433) for national operators. Text CONNECT to 741741 in the United States or visit www.ImAlive.org to chat with someone online.
Dialing 911 is always an option if you or someone else is in danger.
