They are
useless demons
clawing my mind’s eye
robbing me of sleep and peace
following me around my life
like twisted pets
snarling and demanding
and draining me of life.
A partial list:
A child abandoned
for the better part of
twenty years
causing me to wonder
why she clings so desperately.
Talent wasted
because I thought underachieving was
cool and now I cling to barstools minutes
after last-call reciting glorious
tales of what might have been my life.
Friendships destroyed
because when I’d look in mirrors
I’d never see a friend.
To those who’ve loved me
I called myself a fraud
and in shame, hid my face
from their questioning eyes.
Perched atop the Taft Bridge
Five A.M., my only companions
were the wind-chill factor
and my regrets
urging me to please them
offering absolution for my sins
demanding a dramatic sordid
resolution
to the bitter war within my soul.
My regrets
now howl in anger
that I’m still here
raising a fist in triumph,
having won the war
and discovered peace.
