My opinion piece is based on visiting the International Spy Museum, which is steep for a small building with minimal exposure. I was intrigued by the number of exhibits relating to spies, including the agent who is the creator of “The Master of Disguise,” Tony Mendez. The movie “Argo” was also based on his career, and his book is about a rescue he orchestrated. His wife, Jonna Mendez, is named the chief officer of disguise, and has also written books on their careers. The museum has a whole exhibit of his work, even a piece of false genitalia he made to keep secrets. I didn’t ask how. Not sure I need to know.
I’ve started reading Jonna Mendez’s book, “In True Face: A Woman’s Life in the CIA, Unmasked;” however, I skipped to the part about her having a family and the experience she’s had as an agent. When Jonna announced that she was pregnant at the CIA, many were happy for her; however, they also had this presumption that she wouldn’t be a mother. My question is, how does any agent foresee their mental health not leading to paranoia and strictly enforcing safety procedures on their family? Is there a balance between a healthy mental state and the conditioning of their training? Can CIA agents have a second life with a family? Agents often live in a state of deceit and manipulation to gather intelligence.
Another aspect of researching mental health is the recent podcast I watched about an ex-CIA agent and his wife discussing their marriages, family, work, and espionage. In some way, their occupations left baggage for their children to inherit. Where is the accountability? Can CIA agents successfully separate their conditioning as agents before they have children? Would they force their career choice on their children at an early age? Would their children be molded into this field?
In other research, the Discovery and History channels have many stories on government agents discussing their successful careers, but also conducting safety protocols with their families. How can anyone reproduce with such dangerous jobs? The agent in the podcast said that during “a trip,” his cover was blown. He called his wife about the danger he was facing, using their secret code. As they did the interview, emotions were overwhelming the conditioning he would call training. I feel that in that moment of his cover being blown, his whole world should have crashed down around him, thinking about his family.
The interviewer asked, “Do you date outside the CIA?” They answered that it’s not encouraged to date outside the CIA because they’ll have to lie all the time. Then they stated that with other agents, they know what’s going on and don’t have to lie to each other. I mean, it’s understandable, but having children is selfish. And it’s even more selfish to bring them into a war that’s not theirs. Can they find a healthy balance for their mental health? Are agents safe to say they are empathic or compassionate without being manipulative and using their CIA training?
The jobs at the CIA are status quo, meaning those who rank the highest make the decisions. If you don’t make the grade and have a family, then you’re able to take time off by working a lighter load. The ex-agents weren’t approved for this privilege because they were high-ranking workers. It’s disturbing how someone has to balance their family life with their career. Is this love or an escape? Are agents and others in government able to love without the need to control or hurt someone? Is any agent’s mental state benevolent? Do the agents go to therapy? Do they suffer from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder or any other mental illness relating to their careers?
As I watched and listened to these agents discuss their book as husband and wife, I also thought about the effects of their careers and their retirement on their family. How do they sustain a healthy mental state and leave behind all the training they have done? I guess this can apply to multitudes of government jobs. How do you keep your sanity when everyone is seen as an enemy, especially when they don’t have anything? The agent discusses the techniques they use when building information while working for intelligence. A few of these techniques target someone’s personal life or vulnerability. It’s like the playbook for mastering manipulation. Listening to his conversation, I felt he was conditioned to believe this is righteous, and there’s malicious intent, but for his line of work.
Can agents separate fact from fiction relating to the misinterpretation of a target? How do you focus on the importance of your own mental health, let alone a target, when obtaining intelligence? Are their thoughts chaotic, worrying about their families, their spouses? I don’t know the answers to so many questions; however, it’s important to research a multitude of mental health scenarios. Yes, these agents are human, and I understand everyone has a right to build a family and structure. Do they have a conscience lying awake at night? The way of the world is carried by disassociation from humanity.
Realistically, these individuals work and live in an abusive environment. In another interview, the ex-agent stated there are places for agents to go who are repeated adulterers, alcoholics, and addicts called broken toys. The title itself is abusive and dehumanizing. A justification for these agents is they cannot be retired into civilian life because they hold so many secrets. So they are in a building; I suppose on desk duty, whatever that may be. I’m curious to know, do CIA agents’ brain chemistries change when they have a family opposed to their conditioning? May I suggest, instead of espionage, why not sit down and have an honest, homemade meal to gather intel? My immigrant grandmother and grandfather, who taught me how to cook, said food is love. Everyone is hungry, even someone’s enemies. Let me be clear, I do understand the whole be careful, my food may be poisoned. Maybe I’m being naïve.
Before I wrote this article, I also applied to the CIA to research a theory. It was solely based on the experience of how filling out this type of application could be intimidating. Of course, with any government job, there’s a thorough background check. That wasn’t the intimidating part; it was me sitting there for three hours uploading and answering questions to specific interests of job titles. Simplistic questions, however, is there a secret trick in answering the questions? And each job title, I swear, is in code, but that’s speculation on my part. No, I don’t expect to be hired, nor did I write this for attention. I clearly like to stimulate my brain with knowledge in understanding inherited trauma, especially in government jobs. At some point of radical acceptance, have you, as a CIA agent, cried and screamed with actual tears flowing down your face? The ex-agent spoke about how all agents are trained with conditioning against fear. I think that would be an awesome feeling to not feel fear, but are there side effects, such as becoming a psychopath? Can you pull yourself back from that trance or state of mind? A thesis and a hypothesis would be great for anyone to study because this topic is never discussed.
