Well, I am. Now that I know I’m sick, I have nightmares all the time. I can’t sleep well at night. I’m always getting up at all times of the night, just to think about how I can beat this. So, I pray and ask God to take good care of me. At least better than I’ve been taking care of myself. Yes, I believe in God, but I also know some people don’t. I’m not here to judge, just here to tell my story. There are a lots of different kinds of religions: Christians, Muslims, Buddhists, Mormons, and plenty more. Me, myself, I’m a Baptist. I think I can love God and still do the worldly things that God says not to do. Well, nobody’s perfect.
Do you ever wonder if there’s a heaven or a hell? Well, I don’t know if there’s a heaven and a hell. I know which one I’m not trying to go to. That’s hell, of course. But, you know the devil gives us gifts too. He supplies you with all your worldly needs, especially when he’s trying to bait you in. He gives us money to get high and drunk; he makes sure we have enough to drink when we’re driving; he makes us angry enough to want to hurt others or put ourselves in harm’s way. He does all these things, and more, just so he can get you to go with him to his world. Where, I believe, it is full of hurt and pain for eternity. Nope. Don’t wanna see him.
My husband, on the other hand, knows all about the Bible. That’s all he quotes to me, day in and day out. Sometimes it gets on my nerves, because we can be having a pretty good conversation, and he goes quoting something from the Bible or something that God said we must do. Now, remind you, he ain’t no saint. But who couldn’t love a God-fearing man?
Before I get off the phone with my mom, there’s always a prayer at the end of our conversation. She always says, “may God keep the blood of Jesus all around you and send you home safely.” But, I’ve always been afraid of dying, not just because I could be dying, we’re all going to have to go someday. I’m just not ready yet. I wanna have my life in order. I mean I wanna be a good church- going lady who lives, sleeps, and dreams of God. I wanna be able to eat each meal and not forget to thank God for blessing me with it. I wanna get up in the mornings and thank God for blessing me with a brand new day that I haven’t seen before. I wanna be able to not tell a lie every now and then for no reason at all. I wanna sleep at night knowing if God comes to take me, I’m going his way.
Well jumping to another subject, on my way into Street Sense today, I saw that we are starting to have Alcoholic Anonymous classes on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, which says everything to me. I asked God for his help, and he found a way to send me some. Well, folks, it is time for me to sign off, so as we say, stay safe and stay clean.
