You’re an image I never knew until now.
Before I was longing for something.
I’m a fatherless woman,
but I’m not made of anger.
I feel nothing but love
for an image I can’t remember.
God loves me, so I love you.
Why do I need my father?
When you came back
it was like you never left.
I was always different.
Now I know
the image in the mirror was you.
My nerdiness twin
Your looks were flawless,
your kindness,
your worry,
your pain,
even your thoughts that were all over the place.
I understand at a certain age you awoke in me
this love for a parent.
Unseen, but there.
So I’m in the mirror
telling you my image —
I forgive
I’m forgiving my father in a poem,
But I forgave him
for not being there,
thinking he didn’t care,
leaving me scared with fear.
For being absent from growth and missing my show.
I’m forgiving with and through a poem.
Papa always called me cutie pie.
Momma said he died, and all I did was cry.
My father’s spirit was clean and sober.
When he passed I remembered my father walking me down the aisle,
looking at me like a woman, not a child.
I called myself a fatherless child.
Listening to 21 shoots, I’m proud, for awhile.
Father took my smile.
No, I tried to give it to him, but he gave it back I forgave my father, that’s all he wanted.
I love you, father, I will get no other.
