When a Social Justice Warrior meets Alex Jones

It’s early morning, Cappuccino (Cappy), known by friends, rises from his king-sized bed.

Cappy lives in a plush condo in an affluent suburb in Arlington, Va. He is 38 years old, single and a video programmer. While many envy his privileged lifestyle, he feels guilt about his success. He’s a Roman Catholic but feels he lives in sin. 

To the outside world, he’s pleasant and courteous. However, he struggles with his success and excess. Today, Cappy has a big decision to make. He plays golf at the Chevy Chase Golf club or has Sauvignon Blancs with frittatas at the Lafayette on 16th street.   

As he agonizes over his decision, he decides to stop at his favorite coffee shop, Cafe Du blanc, to order his morning Cortado and avocado toast. 

Cappy is a warrior for social justice. While there are many causes he’s committed to, what set his heart flutter is animal rights activism to the extreme. He wants meat banned and has zero tolerance for meat-eaters. 

While waiting for his morning meal, CNN is overhead, and today’s coverage is about Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin. Cappy also suffers from stage four Trump Derangement to the point his face turns beat red and uncontrollable rage with the mentioning of his name. 

As Cappy’s meal arrived, a decision was made to play golf. 

As he sips his morning coffee and avocado toast, out of the corner of his eye, he sees a burly man with a southern drawl. He’s not wearing a mask with a T-shirt saying “Trump Won” He’s seated in a booth next to him. 

Seething in rage, Cappy was curious. He overheard the conversation between the burly man and the waitress, asking her, “Is there any meat? I’m from Texas and can’t stand these avocado toast people.” She giggled, suggesting the Belly Buster, an open-faced sandwich with salted, ham, roast, beef with turkey. She also convinced him to add brown gravy over home fries and apple cobbler. 

The final straw for Cappy was when he said, turn the “commie bullsh*t” off and turn it to the Moose Hunter. 

The opening scene was the hunter and his son camping in the Adirondacks. The father teaches his son how to shoot his semi-automatic. He shows him to aim for the lungs, so he bleeds out without ruining the meat. Then they use a flipping knife to skin it, then carve the meat into cubes for a moose meal. 

Cappy was at his limit. Seeing an animal shot carved, and eating was torture. He screams, “I’m a vegan and animal rights activist, and I’m witnessing animal cruelty.” 

The burly man says “Bug Off” and return to your soy latte. Civilization has been eating meat for millions of years and some of the greatest men such as Genghis Khan and Napolean eat meat. If eating meat is offensive then you shouldn’t eat in a place serving meat. Then his meal comes and he washes it down with a whole milk protein shake. 

Cappy tried to contain his Trump Derangement, but the burly man was getting his goad. He began to interrogate him to see if he was a racist, sexist, misogynist bigot that’s against climate change. 

He begins asking, why aren’t following CDC protocol and comes here without a mask? The man said, “I don’t believe in this Shamdemic. It’s the height of stupidity to believe that a shot can help you live forever.”

Think he would embarrass the burly man. In an act of self-righteousness, Cappy pulls out his vaccine card to let everyone know he’s fully vaccinated. Where’s yours? 

Now everyone is looking at the two argue. The Burly Man says in a few words “My Body My Choice” 

Now the whole restaurant is watching this debate, Cappy goes for the kill shot lambasting him for being an anti-vax Trump supporter. 

Little did he know the man he was arguing with was Alex Jones. 

Jones lit into him, telling him about the New World Order Agenda 21, Klaus Schwab and Biden wet his pants. 

Being out of his safe space bubble Cappy didn’t know what to do. Jones wouldn’t wear a mask, he’s unvaccinated, he’s not going along with Biden’s agenda and he was eating meat in front of him. 

Cappy, who spent years being intolerant to those that strayed from liberal orthodoxy, now ran into someone he couldn’t muscle or move. 

The customers wanted this social justice crusader to put this obnoxious Texan in his place. But Jones stunned the audience and red-pilled many that sided with Cappy. 

Cappy’s fragile feelings and a wounded pride were hurt. He passed playing golf to go back to his plush condo to wash down a few martinis and prescription drugs. 

In the end, Cappy learned a lesson. Whatever begins in anger ends in shame.

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