Stranger Danger

A photograph of a wallet containing money and credit cards on a table.

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Due to a series of unfortunate events, my life threw me a curve ball that would take me completely out of my comfort zone. If anyone would have told me that I would become a severe diabetic, that  my service dog Bella and I would be evicted, and that we’d rely on the kindness of strangers  — I would have said that person had lost their ever-loving mind. But we did.  

We ended up house-squatting, then sleeping in a hypothermia shelter and finally literally sleeping on a park bench. Sometimes things happen that are out of your control and there is nothing you can do but push through and survive.   

In this situation, money has been the main factor because I have to feed myself and my service dog. Bella is trained to get someone to come to my aid when I go into a diabetic crash. But I am unable to hold a job unless I am working for myself because the combination of my illness and the pills I’m prescribed to treat it keep me either running to use the bathroom or dozing off like a heroin addict. 

Since I’ve become homeless, I have done everything possible to survive short of selling my body. That’s just something I will not do, though I respect people that do it for survival.  

I have relied on God and the kindness of strangers. I have done things that the housed, employed version of me would not do, like beg and steal. Basically, I was selling my morals just to survive.  

I have relied on my food stamp benefits, but I don’t have a fixed address, so sometimes I don’t receive them. 

Someone suggested that I take advantage of having a cute dog and panhandle, because people really love animals and don’t want harm to come to them. I have to say, it took me a long time to warm up to the idea of panhandling with my dog, but I sucked it up, swallowed my pride, and went for it.  

I have learned the hard way that you cannot always accept what is offered. The very person that lifts you up off the ground may drag you right back down. However, through all of this, I have  assessed that human beings have more compassion than there is evil in the world.   

My next experience trying to keep money in my pockets to feed us forced me to leave my comfort zone once again. I went to the house of a complete stranger, who Bella and I came across at a bus stop.  

It was a very cold March evening and I was determined not to go into the shelter because, for me, it’s just a toxic environment. So Bella and I went to sit down at a bus stop to mope and figure out what to do. That’s where I encountered Bob.   

He was very drunk, but he said something nice about my dog. Peering through his drunkenness, I could see he was a pretty nice guy. He asked me what I was up to and I proceeded to tell him about my situation. Bob offered to put me up for the night at his house because it was too cold for me and my dog to sleep outside.  

In my mind, the first thing I made of his offer was “What’s the rub? I guess he thinks I will give him my body just to have a warm place to sleep.”  

I told Bob that I would not be giving my body up for sex. I made it clear that I was not that type of girl and Bob assured me that if I crashed at his place he would be the perfect gentleman. Needless to say, I was apprehensive. But not wanting me and my dog to be out in the cold trumped any reservations I had. For some reason, while we waited for the bus, Bob opened up his wallet and showed me a wad of cash.  

From my point of view he was loaded, I told him to please put his money away. I’m pretty sure if he was sober he would have kept his money to hisself.  

The bus finally arrived and I prepared myself for the unknown. Bob stopped at a liquor store and offered to get me anything I wanted, but I was determined to stay clear-headed. We finally arrived at his apartment, which was very cozy and warm. What happened next was inevitable. 

Good old Bob was all hands. I had to keep in mind he was drunk. He had to be about 70 years old, and was a rascal. He touched me inappropriately the whole time I was in his apartment. The only  time  Bob was not being fresh is when he fell asleep. 

He left that wallet full of cash wide open on the table in his living room, right in front of me. This is where my morals were put to the test. Bob told me later that he left his wallet out on purpose to see what I would do. Well, I have to say, I failed the test.  

It’s like I had an angel on one shoulder and the devil on the other.  

The angel was telling me, “Don’t take it. He was drunk and truly meant me no harm.”  

While the devil said, “Take the money as payment for touching you inappropriately.”  

The angel chimed in again saying, “Remember he gave you food to eat.”  

But the devil whispered in my ear once more, saying, “Bob did not keep his word and was not a perfect gentleman.” 

I am sad to say the devil won. I looked in Bob’s wallet and had a closer look at the wad of cash he’d shown me. I saw a bunch of twenties, some hundreds, and smaller bills.I guess a really bad person would have taken the whole wallet and bolted. That’s not who I am, so I took a $20 bill and that was that. I put the wallet back where it belonged.  

In my mind, the money would be food for me and Bella and whatever I needed. When Bob came out of the bathroom he put his wallet away. I don’t know why, maybe he started to sober up and he saw I wasn’t going to sleep with him.  

Daylight was approaching and I was ready to be on my way. I don’t like to linger. Before I left, I had the nerve to ask Bob for a couple dollars. He was hesitant, but he gave me five bucks.  

Before I left Bob’s home, I advised him to never invite a stranger to his home, whatever he does. I went on to say he should be glad I was just a normal decent woman with a service dog, down on her luck. Not everyone is that way.  

I don’t like being needy and I don’t want to steal. But I took advantage of the situation. All I can do to make amends is pay it forward. But my story of surviving economically during my now roughly a year of being homeless is not over.  

Stay tuned.

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